just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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