I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
My pussy is not your playground.
I just gift wrapped bread.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
Randomize
