Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
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