So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
