i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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