Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
