How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize
