no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
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