Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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