I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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