Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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