I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
