No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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