Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
