these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
