Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
