Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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