update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
