so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
