no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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