So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
