I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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