dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
