Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
