I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
