I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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