I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
