you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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