I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
