I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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