So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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