He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
ttyl tear gas
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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