what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Randomize
