I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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