THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
