i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
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