i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
