i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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