Will you blow on my dice?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
