I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
