Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I stole a fireplace last night.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
