All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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