I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I will pee on everything he values.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
