Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
