if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
40s are totally the cure
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
Randomize
