Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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