this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
