Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
