swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
