Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Randomize
