even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
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