I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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