Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
