so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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