I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
