I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
